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if democracy is so good how come we don't have it at work

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Sorry, one of the rules of my warlock contract is that if you bring up Heidegger I am obligated to make farting noises over the remainder of whatever you say.

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honestly, when most of your political options offer basically no material politics I can understand how people develop a politics of pure spite

this guy on the bus is wearing a "Trump 2020, make liberals cry again" hoodie

the only reason I don't hate improv comedy as much as I do stand up is just because it's generally less successful

Omggg😭😭😭
Hurricane is drooling all over the floor and I got in his face and asked why he was making a mess and "being so mean" and he gave me the smallest gentlest kiss on my nose and I have now died from sweetness overload

If y'all don't mind, I'm going to go breed Dreepy to share with everyone via surprise trade

new pokemon 

cute pokemon picture 

cute pokemon picture 

you have to venmo me $50 for emotional labor if you actually want me to reply

for every 1 good thing from the 80s I can name you two bad things from the 80s

google hires anti-union consultants, article link 

why do you feel you are qualified for this job at NATO? 

I had to leave this dumpling-shaped goober at home to go do an electoralism

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