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Gul Dukat @dukat

@quark @chiefmilesobrien i can bring my men over to liven up the place. i guarantee they WILL get rowdy

@garak I don't think my truly sincere interest in bajoran culture could possibly be misconstrued. Unless people think I am just doing it to get babes, which I am not. anyway I need a good shirt to wear when I call Major Kira at 0300

@garak if you're subtooting me you should know that the only reason i'm following you is because i need to keep an eye on you. also i need a nice bajoran-style shirt, do you have any of those

@guinan you know, just one of many worlds with multiple searing death suns. my scales are getting an amazing sheen

taking a spa day on a horrifying god-forsaken desert planet 🐍🌞

@DS9 @guinan no need to be cheeky, you know as well as I do that you are stocked with fire extinguishers. But we used up most of them before we left by spraying them at Odo, Bajorans, and each other

Bajoran girls are really into contact juggling, right?

i wear this armor all the time because im afraid to get too close to anyone. also because if i take it off while on duty i will be killed

@Irick they also have pepsi but no one likes it here either

which JOKER on this ship hid my contact lenses forcing me to wear an enormous pair of coke bottle glasses for the twenty five video transmissions i sent major kira last night

Weyoun keeps trying to get me to play crazy eights with him but I just want to practice smiling in peace

@thefishcrow I can tell you're taunting me and I simply refuse to be taunted

I don't know what an "awoo" is and I completely refuse to learn

@Q it's not a coincidence. Every humanoid species can appreciate a piece of vegetation that reminds them of Cardassian strength and good looks

I am GREAT at my job thank you, my boss had literally NO reason to leave 500 automated video messages about how much he hates me embedded in the systems of Terok Nor

look, despite what the trolls are saying, the only reason i called benjamin sisko last night was to make sure he knows i've been lifting weights and looking very cool while doing it

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Now entering Federation space...