I'll give this general advice:

Don't trust any business that has a high turnover of feminine employees while the men stay on for long periods of time.

Just... that's a big red flag, y'all, and I know you go to the same places often enough to notice stuff like this. Try and notice it.


physical stores can be hard while autistic, because it's difficult enough to get through being in the store at all. so staying in place can help with that sometimes -- but that said? oh yeah. same goes for places that have the same white dudes forever, but not people of color.

@stackingstones That's a good point, if I understand you right! If you know someone's a regular at someplace, ask them if they've observed these sorta flags.

@emsenn definitely! we can follow social patterns, so we notice what you're talking about (and a bunch of other things as well), but asking (if possible, because speaking ability usually gets assumed) can help.

the social nuance of saying that can sometimes be hard. having been in situations where i've said, "hey, are people racist here?" when it definitely wasn't the right moment, well, uh.

same goes for "are there misogynists in your washroom" as well, i'm sure

@stackingstones Haha - I was actually thinking more like that if you were my local friend, I should consider asking you for advice on the placesyou've noticed problems with.

@emsenn (i know you said "general advice", just adding that on as well. having a meltdown in the middle of a store because something(s) caught you unaware fucking sucks

@stackingstones It's a good addition; I meant general as in "not specific to this one local businessperson," lol

@emsenn lol :)

if only there was one "lone sexist asshole business dude". we could all boycott him, case closed

@stackingstones "One by one" is functionally the same as "lone" if that helps :D

@emsenn this store we started going to again, mm. it's been too short a time to know their turnover rate, but the white dudes there have a swagger to them, and the women definitely don't. it could be a "keep your head down" kind of atmosphere. :/

@emsenn (unless you meant that more like "one foot in front of the other", which -- true! :) )

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