a song was playing and it's almost impossible for me not to dance. this made me think of all the things I hated before transition and love after it:
- my voice
- being present during sex
- being desired or told I'm pretty
- personal life outside work
- feeling feelings.
living in the wrong identity was really a not-really-there kind of life, wasn't it.
The more I think about it, the more I recognize that growing up as an egg, that’s trauma.
Being an egg as an adult, that’s trauma too.
And you aren’t addressing it at all in that period and so that trauma is affecting your reactions and your behaviors in a really awful way.
I think it’s really tempting to move on, and pretend this didn’t happen, but it’s important to recognize those previous mistakes and really learn from them so you can be conscious of not repeating some of them.
us politics, health care
So much of my interaction with government bodies is just me submitting the same information over and over to different agencies, but I'd better not get it wrong because they'll cross-check it and decide that I'm defrauding them!
us politics, health care
It's 2020, there's a highly contagious pandemic spreading across the globe, I'm in one of the small chunks of the state that is still physically going to work, and I don't have health insurance until my application (which consists of me giving the state information it already has in other contexts) for this year goes through.
I hate this country so fucking much.
Seriously though, every gui toolkit has a different picker with different affordances and it bugs me a lot. Some support big preview thumbnails, some can automount stuff, some check against a tag database, etc.
It would be very useful to differentiate between things like "choose an image" and "choose a document".
autism awareness, vent
humans: it would be so cool if there was peaceful alien intelligence, i wonder how different their minds would be
also humans: there's 100+ million people with brains that work slightly differently in a certain way, which makes them behave/think/sense/move/communicate differently; we need to eradicate them, or at least send to conversion therapy & obedience training so they outwardly resemble the rest of us
At the end of the day, you don't have to understand gender to be trans. You don't have to understand it to be enby. You can just be the way you are and it doesn't matter. You don't need to take a class on gender studies before being trans. Anyone who tells you you need to understand gender to be trans is a gatekeeper. Ignore them and go through the gate yourself.
All gender has ever been is a way to explain how someone who is AMAB can be female, how someone who is AFAB can be male, or how someone can be in between, or something else wild.
But to put it on this pedestal and treat it like a real thing versus a concept we have created does more harm than good.
Because now we have this concept that some say is mutable ("be what you want"), some say is immutable ("I've always been a woman/man"), or can only change through some other process (discovering you're trans later in life), some say it varies, and it's just a mess no one has agreed on and I doubt anyone ever will. This disagreement confuses so many people needlessly.
IMO, just remember gender is a construct of the mind and like all concepts of the mind can be bent to our will, broken, or even ignored and discarded if we find it unsuitable for our *individual* purposes.
Hopefully someday we'll find a better way to describe it but this way mostly works for most people.
trans lesbian | mediocre programmer | anarcho-communist
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